The Man I Love
by SeGate
Summary: Lou's waiting on the man she loves. Will he make it in time? And can he save her if he does?


**_Written for the Writers Ranch American Songbook Challenge. Please be warned that there is a character death in this piece... and it ain't pretty._**

* * *

_Someday he'll come along, the man I love_

Lou groaned faintly as she forced her eyes open. For a moment confusion reigned and she forgot where she was. But all too soon she recalled the events that led to her current predicament. _Predicament._ Lou chuckled mirthlessly. A predicament was finding oneself with two dates on the same night or having to eat Jimmy's porridge for a week. This was far worse than any predicament she'd ever found herself in before. And that was saying a lot. She found herself wishing that Kid would come and find her.

_And he'll be big and strong, the man I love_

_Kid._ With his eyes as blue as the southern skies and his need to protect her from herself, they had been like matches and dynamite. She could still remember how his strong arms felt when he held her close. And she couldn't forget how she had yelled when he tried to move her into Rachel's house. But right now, she would accept his help gladly and admit that he was right about her. She wasn't invincible. And sometimes, more often than she'd ever like to admit, she needed help. She needed him.

_And when he comes my way_

But it was too late now. Or was it? She was having trouble remembering. If she was figuring right, she'd been trapped out here for almost three days already. Was he coming? Would he find her? The bushwhackers had found her as she made a run for Teaspoon. She'd managed to get away after they shot her, but she'd pushed Lightning too hard. Not realizing her horse had also been hit and unfamiliar with the rocky terrain off the main trail, Lou now found herself trapped under her faithful mount's body. The ledge wasn't high, but it had been high enough that the fall finished what the bullet started.

_I'll do my best to make him stay_

What she wouldn't give to see any of her brothers right now, but especially Kid. He wouldn't rest until he found her. They would all look for her, but she knew Kid would find her. She could hear the urgency in his voice as he shouted her name. If only... If only she didn't have the feeling that he wouldn't come for her. That he couldn't come for her. She had a vague memory of him leaving. He had to go back to Virginia and fight, and she couldn't support him standing with those who wanted to keep men like Noah in chains. And then came the letter, the letter telling them he died in battle. Maybe if she had begged him to stay like her heart wanted, instead of giving into her foolish pride...

_He'll look at me and smile,  
I'll understand_

Coughing weakly, the pain in her chest pulled her mind back to her current situation. She'd run out of water a day and a half ago. She couldn't get to her small supply of food. Her legs had stopped hurting sometime in the night, but she could see that her bullet wound was bleeding again. She knew infection was setting in making her feel both hot and icy at the same moment. She'd tried to free herself from Lightning's weight several times, but it only made her bleeding pick up. This looked bad, really bad. And she was alone. No matter what she might have said in anger or frustration, she never wanted to be alone again.

The brightness of the sun made her squint her tired eyes, but suddenly something or someone was blocking the sun's glare. Could it be? Her throat muscles worked desperately to be able to produce sound, "Kid?"

_And in a little while he'll take my hand_

Walking to her side, he knelt down and grasped her small hand in his. "Oh, Lou..."

"Kid, please don't leave me alone again! I'm sorry I didn't beg ya to stay when I had the chance, but I never want to be parted from ya again." She strained again under the weight of her mount, blood spreading ever farther across her chest.

"Shh... We'll be together, Lou. I promise."

_And though it seems absurd  
I know we both won't say a word_

He spared but a glance to the scene around him. As if aware of all that had happened, he simply stroked her forehead. A hint of a smile played about his lips, but his eyes were troubled.

She could see the storm clouds gathering. The clear blue of his eyes gave way to darkness and torment. For only a moment did she wonder why he seemed so distressed, yet peaceful. And then she remembered the letter. He was dead. And they were forever separated. But maybe there were second chances. Maybe they would be together again...

_Maybe I shall meet him Sunday  
Maybe Monday, maybe not  
Still I'm sure to meet him one day  
Maybe Tuesday will be my good news day_

Had another day passed? She found it ever more difficult to simply open her eyes. Her mouth was dry as cotton, and her lungs gurgled when she tried to draw a deep breath. There was so much pain and pressure in her chest now. And though the sun was blazing, she felt cold to the very marrow of her bones.

She knew she was dying. It was a prospect she'd faced several times before, but then it had always promised to be quick. She'd always hoped to die of old age, warm in her bed and surrounded by her many children. She'd always feared dying by the gun, quick and over before she'd be able to say goodbye. But she'd never really pondered the possibility of this kind of end. A slow, torturous fading away of life. She wondered how much longer she could possibly last.

The loneliness had been unbearable the first few days, but then he showed up. Kid had been by her side for the past day, holding her hand and whispering soothing words. But he'd been silent since this morning. Gone was the hint of a smile he'd had yesterday. His face was serious, his body tense. She sensed her time was very near now.

_He'll build a little home, just meant for two_

"It's almost time, Lou." His lips didn't move, but she felt his voice resonate within her body.

"I... I think I'm ready, Kid." She didn't have the strength to speak, but her voice rang clearly in her own ears. "What's it like?"

"Well, I've been waiting for you. But I hoped it would be a lot longer before you joined me. You'll like it there. I've been building us a place." He fell silent as Lou's body was wracked with spasms. She gasped, her lungs desperately trying to draw air even as they filled with blood.

"I know you're a fighter, Lou. It's just who you are, so I won't tell you not to struggle. But soon... Soon you'll know peace. It'll wrap around you and carry you home, back to me."

_From which we'll never roam; Who would, would you?_

Lou felt like she was drowning in pain and her own blood. Why did it hurt so much? Such pressure and desperation. Her body felt compressed and her spirit frantic. She had always hoped for a quiet passing, but this didn't feel quiet. Every ounce of her strength was forcing her to suck in air, which in turn caused her to experience that sensation of drowning. Finally her body managed a weak cough and bloody fluid sprayed from her lips.

Peace. Kid had promised her peace. She clutched his hand with a single-minded determination. Her eyes struggled to focus on his beloved face. Soon she noticed another form emerging from the glare of the sun behind Kid. _Noah!_ Noah stepped forward and laid his hand on Kid's shoulder. He looked to his left, and that's when she saw him... _Ike!_

_And so all else above I'm waiting for the man I love_

Pain. Convulsions. The gurgling sound of her fluid-filled lungs. She wanted it to end. She wanted to go with her brothers and Kid. Her heart longed to see the home he built for them. She had a feeling it would look like Emma's white house in Sweetwater. They had been so happy there.

Her thoughts were torn away from such pleasant possibilities by the unrelenting tension in her spasming body. She found herself wrenched from Kid's grasp, pulled away from Ike and Noah. She was alone again. Her lungs sucked greedily at the air, but found only the blood that had slowly been filling them for the last day. With one last, desperate clutch of her hands in the soil, it was over.

Kid was coming for her. She rose from the ground, brushed the dirt from her dress, and reached out her hand to him. Warmth flowed through her, as together they walked toward the glare of the sun. Lou McCloud was finally at peace.


End file.
